Saints Row: Gat out of Hell

It's anything BUT a Saints Row game. It shouldn't even be called a game but a mislabeled DLC. I don't even know who the hell would recommend this to anyone after playing The Third and IV. The writing is extreme doodoo and the game even admits that they ran out of ideas in the middle of the story with a "quirky" cutscene (HAHA GAMEDEVS DIRECTLY ADMITTING THEIR GAME IS ♥♥♥♥ SO FUNNY RIGHT???) then they force you to play minigames for like an hour until you can proceed with the story. It doesn't even try to make the littlest attempts to make fun of the cliches it tries to use either, there is no subtlety in them. The punchlines are very blunt, obvious and self aware or just happen instantly after a joke is told that it just defeats the point of a joke in the first place. The missions themselves aren't anything special and are usually just cutscenes or minigames you have to play (which aren't unique as they are literally the same as other activities you'd find in freeroam) Other than that there are ~1000 individual pickups all over the map if you intend to 100% the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game. Yes, ~1000 pickups. Ubisoft bows it's head in shame somewhere by being outclassed like this. There aren't even any clothing stores, radio stations, mod shops for vehicles nor anything a player can use to express themselves unlike in [b]every single Saints Row game that exists[/b]. And I know that we are in Hell and that we essentially play as NPC but we could at least have SOME clothing variations to choose from or at least a hat to wear. Even Borderlands 1 had options to recolor parts of our character in 2008 and then gave us some hats in 2019 remaster. Do not EVER buy this game individually, if you want to try this slop then at least buy it from a bundle like the Saints Row Ultimate Franchise Pack. You'd be getting 3 games that are actually worth your time compared to whatever this "game" is trying to be. Yes, I'm very disappointed with this experience because it feels like a typical game released after 2019 but looking at the storepage it says 2015.. sigh.