Lies of P

tl;dr: Don't buy this game if you've read on Reddit/Steam that its parry system is just as satisfying as Sekiro's. By the way, Gemini is the worst companion you'll ever encounter in a video game. Unfortunately, I was naive. I made the mistake of listening to people on the Sekiro subreddit hyping up "Lies of Peak" and claiming that it has an incredibly satisfying parry system. What a load of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. This isn't a rhythm game built around clashing swords. It's a game where parrying is an optional mechanic that you may or may not use, and enemies don't even have a posture bar. The parry window is tight and you have to learn it with considerable precision. The problem is that parrying isn't even necessary to beat the game, so there is absolutely no reason to bother learning it. As a soulslike veteran, I had no trouble whatsoever beating most bosses simply by brute-forcing them with the umbrella (RB, RB, RB, special/fable attack) and dodging at the appropriate moments. The combat at the highest difficulty is laughably easy and barely presents a challenge at all, with the exception of the DLC fights, which, in turn, feel completely unbalanced and are wildly out of line with the difficulty of the base game. Needless to say, the DLC fights were nevertheless more satisfying. The map design also leaves a lot to be desired. There is none of that Metroidvania-style level design where paths gradually loop back into one another and the whole area starts to unfold as an interconnected maze. Nope. You go to the hotel. You leave the hotel and clear a district. In that particular area, you open 2-3 shortcuts within the district, all of which lead back to a Stargazer (the equivalent of a bonfire in FromSoftware games). You beat the boss. A path to the next area opens. You open 2-3 shortcuts to the Stargazer there. And then you do the exact same thing again. And again. And again. It is an astonishingly, painfully linear game that does absolutely nothing to encourage exploration. A player who is just getting into the genre may therefore run into a problem: they get stuck on a boss they simply can't beat, and the game offers them only one solution: git gud. There is no alternative route, no other area where they could gain a few levels, get better gear, or take on a different boss. What's more, the story is uninteresting and leaves very little to the imagination. Everything is explained from A to Z, in the most painfully obvious way possible, as if the player were an idiot incapable of drawing their own conclusions - the typical Asian storytelling style where every single fact has to be repeated and reminded to you several times because apparently you're too stupid to understand it the first time. And, as if that weren't enough, the problem isn't limited to the dialogue. It extends to the gameplay itself. Before every boss fight, you can find items that basically tell you what the boss is weak against. The game also refuses to let you discover its puzzles on your own, which is perfectly illustrated by the parrot cage situation in the DLC. There is a sign outside the aviary telling you not to whistle. As soon as the player reads it, a tutorial pop-up appears reminding them that they have a whistle in their inventory. The whistle thing is just one of countless examples of the game refusing to let you discover mechanics or figure out solutions for yourself, instead immediately pointing you towards the answer and completely destroying any sense of fun or satisfaction that might come from discovering its secrets on your own. If no tutorial pop-up appears, your best friend and companion Gemini will certainly be more than happy to explain you all about whatever you’ve just discovered, heard, or seen (because you’re stupid and your memory has the capacity of five seconds). Gemini is the worst, most irritating companion in the history of video games. His comments were so unbearably bad that during my second and third playthroughs, I muted the dialogue audio just so I wouldn't have to listen to him. I got the platinum trophy purely because I felt bad about the $$$ I'd spent on this game. The entire playthrough felt like a chore, and I genuinely can't remember the last time I felt such an overwhelming sense of relief and freedom after finally finishing a game. Now, I wholeheartedly hate puppets. Instant uninstall. ♥♥♥♥ you, Gemini. I'd sell you at the nearest market to a pack of starving geckos at the first opportunity if I could.