This has got to be, bar none, one of the most anti-capitalist games I’ve played in my life. I don’t know if that was the intention or not but I feel like it would be impossible for someone to play this game through and not become deeply cynical about modern corporate culture, or consumerism in general. It is an ode to the seemingly inescapable trend of enshitification, masquerading as a video game.
It’s incredible. I love it!
As the sequel to Retro City Rampage, Shakedown: Hawaii picks up with the nameless protagonist from the last game years after the end of the original game. Now descending into middle age and saddled with a do-nothing son, he finds out that his days of sipping margaritas and watching TV has driven his company, Feeble Enterprises into the ground. With the remains of his fortune running out fast, he begins his attempt to turn his sinking ship of a business around by any means necessary. Even if it means he has to buy out the entire island.
Shakedown: Hawaii smartly plays like how you remember the original Grand Theft Auto games played, as opposed to how they actually played. The big difference being that the shooting controls are good and the missions aren’t designed to murder you in the blink of an eye. At least, most of them aren’t.
That vintage GTA DNA is there, complete with the rampages, the wanted levels and the car respraying. You know the drill, go get the mission, drive here, shoot some people, steal that car, steal some illegal drugs, blow up that building, escape the cops and so on.
The game’s major hook is in taking the property buying aspects of GTA Vice City, San Andreas and Online to their naturally ridiculous conclusion. Every building on the map is buyable, from convenience stores to the TV network headquarters, to the prison to the airport. The bigger places tend to be tied to story missions, while the stores and restaurants usually require you to perform a short shakedown activity to intimidate the owners into selling to you. Usually those boil down to smashing store shelves or stuffing toilets with toilet paper, but there are a few creatively funny missions in there that I don’t want to spoil.
Similarly I’d rather avoid talking too much about the funnier missions in the main story. While often exaggerated for comedic effect, the business practices discussed in it are close enough to reality to make you squirm more than a little.
Honestly, if there’s any serious flaw in this game, it’s that it regrettably came out too early to take any shots at generative AI, data centers and the tidal wave of slop choking the life out of the internet.
If you have a love for 90s GTA games and ever wanted to know why it always feels like you’re paying more money for less and/or worse products everywhere you go, then this is the game to get.
It took me 15 hours and one crash to desktop to roll the credits.
An Easy Recommendation.
