Now at the height of noteriety, the Saints have gone from a bunch of hardened gangbangers to... Celebrities. Turning the toughest street gang in Stilwater into a brand, selling energy drinks and clothes. But a much needed wakeup call arrives when a bank robbery goes bad and the Saints find themselves in a new city with no resources to their name against a combined Syndicate of three gangs.
Saints Row: The Third adds to the quadrilogy of the mainline series, this time reshaping it's image from what was set in Saints 1 and 2, to something that (in my opinion) brought the beginning of the downfall of the series as we know it. With a brand of zany and silliness that gave the series whatever lifeline it desired to start being seen less of a GTA clone and more... Well, whatever you can describe this game and it's follow up 4 as.
Taking place a few years after Saints Row 2, we see the Saints at the height of their power. Making ads for energy drinks, merch lines and movie deals. A complete and total tonal 180 from what the player character was doing in SR2. Seeking to reclaim some of their glory, the gang goes to rob a bank. But they can't even do that without stopping to take photos with fans they've taken hostage. Long story short, the cops corner the crew and throw them in jail only to be quickly released by one of our three major gangs, Morningstar.
Led by Philipe Loren, the Morningstar are Steelport's leading sex and prostitution exporter with a club of their own for... Discerning customers. Giving a deal that the Saints absolutely refuse, he directs the leaders of the Deckers (A tech/hacker gang) and the Luchardores (A gang that has their entire theme dedicated to mexican wrestling) to make the lives of the Saints hell. But the Saints won't go quietly. Once they call for backup from Stilwater and make a foothold in Steelport, the Syndicate's days are numbered.
Speaking of backup, let's talk about the Saints. The crew from 2 have had some touch ups to say the least. Pierce being the only good one, now given some proper respect when not being made the butt of some of 2's missions. Then again he's the one going overboard with the Saints being a brand, so I can't give him too much credit. Johnny Gat remains Johnny so no real notes there... But Shaundi's had a serious personality change. Gone is the stoner chick and in her place is an angry enforcer. All her fun was cut out from her personality.
And then there's the Boss. Who is a vast shadow of their former Stilwater selves from 2. They're far more stupid and nowhere as lethal and brutal as they were in 2. If the Boss from 2 took one look at their future self, they'd probably call them the biggest wannabe pretend Saint and shoot them square in the face. How am I meant to believe that the absolute braindead himbo/bimbo that we have here is the same person who threw a gang leader's girlfriend into the trunk of her own car and watched her boyfriend crush her in a monster truck? The same person who threw the heads of their enemies onto a meat packing line? I can't at all see the similarities.
But the new cast of Steelport characters that help the Boss are done well. Helping you take down the Morningstar is a pimp called Zimos. Taking down the Deckers comes with help from an ex-FBI agent turned freelance hacker Kinzie. And seeking to reclaim his glory from the boss of the Lunchadores is pro wrestler Angel.
These three (plus Pierce) will take a part of Steelport and generally act as most points of contact for the activities you'll do to take control of Steelport. And they're all classics from previous games but with a twist or two for some of them depending on location. As an example, doing Snatch in Zimos's area will task you with rescuing working girls from the Morningstar. But Snatch in Kinzie's area will have you rescue her contacts from Deckers.
Not that most of these activities even reward you with much when completing every instance of them beyond achievements. Because most of the rewards that used to be tied to activities (Like damage resistance or infinite ammo) are now tied to the skills system. Skills are unlocked by leveling up your Respect and then buying it with cash. Skills can range from health upgrades, resistances to certain types of damage, dual wield for pistols and SMGs, faster notoriety clears and more. The higher your Respect is (To a max of 50) the more skills and upgrades to those skills you'll have access to.
But one of the upgrades is broken. You buy up immunity to damage from being run over BUT STILL TAKE DAMAGE. And there's nothing for reducing/resisting melee damage.
On the topic of upgrades, your weapons can also be tooled up with some extra firepower at any Friendly Fire store as long as you got the cash. You can turn your starting pistol into an explosive round powerhouse, the standard police pump shotgun into a full auto machine of pain, the full auto assault rifle into an LMG with underbarrel grenade launcher. And speaking of that grenade launcher, all four grenade types which you can swap between on the fly have their own upgrades as well. The molotov's an alright weapon when you get it at it's regular level. But max it out? One molotov can detonate a car on impact.
But what good are all of these fun toys if the playground to use them in doesn't back it up? Steelport is... Boring. And incredibly smaller than Stilwater. And a whole lot less open as a matter of fact. The city is lifeless and most of the areas you go into during the story are just never playable again outside of those missions. The strongholds are prime example, taking them over just gives you a copy/paste penthouse in the refurbished and "Saint"ified building. Most of the streets and areas look the same barring one major building in one small part of a district. No day/night cycle, no public transport going along and no life on the beaches or people driving boats in water. If a game three years earlier can have things a game three years later doens't, something went drastically wrong on the development side.
And then there's all the technical issues. Sure, SR3 beats 2 in being able to run out of the box without mods but you're still going to need mods to make 3 a lot less buggy. From a semi forced FPS cap that breaks car sounds and weapon effects (I hope you enjoy tire screeching when not drifting and just regularly driving or quiet cars with no engine sound) and a camera that zooms incredibly when driving boats that has no fix as far as I know. And multiplayer somehow performs worse on PC than when I played this last on console. Countless times a friend and I encountered several glitches that I never saw when trying to get online achievements with randoms back on my PS3. I also think it's worse for NPC despawning. I remember running along the main bridge of the game, seeing cars pop in far ahead of me... That completely disappeared when they got closer to me.
SR3 is also a chore for completionists. Grindy challenges with ridiculous targets is one thing, but to have assassinations, car thefts and regular challenges be missable because of story completion or city takeover is just stupid. Need to kill more Specialists from one of the Syndicate factions? Too bad, you took over every ounce of Decker territory. Unless you somehow find an activity and get enough Decker agro for them to spawn.
Look, I hate Saints Row 3. I hate what it did to the franchise. I hate how it was the catalyst for arguably the two worst games in the franchise coming after it that forced the ridiculous writing into a corner that couldn't ever be salvaged. And it all started with this small tumor in the series.
If you want a playground to mess around in for five minutes, then Saints Row 3 is the perfect slop for you.
Otherwise, this game sucks in my opinion. A far cry from the heights of 2 with character assassinations galore, technical issues, stupid online based achievements and a dead world that is barely memorable.
