If you’ve ever wanted to experience the sheer, unadulterated terror of being a trespasser in your own backyard, Grounded 2 is the game for you. Here is a brief log of how my co-op buddy (we'll call him Kevin) and I managed to completely ruin our lives.
The Backyard Journal: A Descent into Madness
Day 1: The Great Pioneers
"We are gods among insects! Look at this grass! We built a beautiful three-story castle out of clover leaves and weed stems right next to a juice box. Unlimited hydration, gorgeous views, and a nearby weevil population for infinite snacks. Life is perfect. Kevin says he wants to go pet the 'big fuzzy ladybug' over by the oak tree later. I'm sure it’s fine."
Day 5: Slight Setbacks
"The 'fuzzy ladybug' was a Wolf Spider. It was not friendly. It does not want to cuddle. We lost three sets of armor running away, but we made it back to the grass fortress. Kevin’s therapist is going to hear about this."
Day 10: The Siege Begins
"Kevin made a mistake. A massive, catastrophic, unforgivable mistake.
He thought he could 'kite' the Wolf Spider to our base so our spike traps would kill it. It didn't work. The spider walked over the spikes like they were a polite welcome mat.
It is now parked directly outside our front door. Its front three legs are currently clipping through our grass wall. Every time we try to look out the window, we are greeted by eight giant, glowing red eyes of pure hatred. We cannot leave. This is our life now."
Day 15: Psychological Warfare
"Day 5 of the siege. The spider has not slept. It just vibrates against our wall. Occasionally, it makes a sound like a wet violin being dragged through gravel.
We are surviving entirely on the three sour worms we had stored in a chest and whatever dew drips through the ceiling. Kevin tried to sneak out the back window to grab an aphid. The spider heard the rustle of his grass armor and slapped him back through the wall so hard his spawn point broke."
Day 20: The Final Hours
"Provisions are entirely depleted.
No juice.
No weevil roasts.
Nothing but despair and the distant, rhythmic thumping of arachnid mandibles.
Kevin suggested we eat our tier-one clover boots to survive. I told him I'd rather die with my boots on. We are currently staring at each other in the dark, waiting for the hunger bar to hit zero. I can hear the spider whispering to us.
If you find this log, please tell my mom I hate Kevin."
Summary
Graphics: 10/10 (The spider's fangs look horrifyingly realistic up close)
Gameplay: 10/10 (Excellent survival mechanics, highly immersive PTSD simulator)
Kevin: 0/10 (Would not recommend playing with him)
Buy this game. Just don't let Kevin pull the aggro.
