Battlesloths 2025: The Great Pizza Wars

Gameplay is good, music is great, and is all around a good time...for a couple hours. It gets very old very quick since there is very little variety. With only 4 game modes and a very simple concept it becomes tedious, even with friends to play with, and if youre playing by yourself vs bots its even worse. The problem is this game has good things going for it, but they need to expand on this game drastically just to make it worth the $15 price tag. Because right now, there isnt much there to keep you playing it for more than a couple hours.

Battlesloths 2025: The Great Pizza Wars is by far my favorite game. It use pixalated graphics for almost everything you see in the game. The game itself only has 4 battle modes at the moment of release. Slice Hunt, Golden Slice, Sloth Hunt, and Last sloth Standing. Along with the game modes comes 18 total weapons ranging from a simple bow and arrow, to a BFSG (Big F*cking Sloth gun). It has a wide variety of levels with their own unique hazards meant to either stop all players or to simply stop them in their tracks. Most noteably is the use of The Nuke. The Nuke can be added to all game modes to add an extra layer of difficulty or just to use in online modes and watch as players scramble to save their points from being cut in half. Currently there are only 8 worlds each holding a total of 3 areas each. However only 7 worlds are available to play in online mode as the world "Temple" is unavailable. Temple has a very unique hazard meant to help players as opposed to killing them. With the small variety of game settings to tinker with before a match starts is a bit underwhelming. You can have timed matches, Matches with a certain kind of weapon, and you can slow down the speed of the sloths. If there were more options available to the player perhaps there would be more enjoyment out fo a few matches. Especially in offline mode (Or playing with bots in this case). The game currently includes over 1017 hats to collect. These hats serve only to add personality to your sloth. The only known way to unlock hats is to play several matches either online with friends or offline with bots. Online matches give much more chances of giving players coins to unlock hats while offline mode with bots is a bit more limited with its coins. Next to blowing out other sloths brains over a piece of pizza there is also a hidden game mode only accessed by a very rare "Hat Demon" Killing this demon will send you to a hidden level with its own unique game mode. Winning this game mode gives you a Golden version of a pre-existing hat. (Some hats look cool golden, i swear.) However i do have my own complaints about the game. The coins are an obvious one because i love collecting and unlocking the hats to add to my collection, if offline mode were given the same treatment as online mode in terms of coins it'd make playing with bots a lot more enjoyable. Instead i'm forced to play to the maximum level available (50 is the limit with the exception of Golden slice which 20 is the limit.) in hopes i get at least 2 or 3 coins at most. The game also has very long and unneeded loading times, it usually takes a minute or two to get to the main screen when booting it up. With online mode however its quite empty. The only online games you'll play is with friends but even then there are some lag issues. Sadly "Quick Match" doesnt seem to even remotely work at all and your stuck in a neverending loop of waiting for players to join, your best to just create a private match instead as thats more reliable. But overall the game works perfectly fine, it has its issues where it will crash unexpectedly or online mode is lagged to hell but collecting hats, killing sloths, and eating pizza is by far my favorite way to spend my time. I highly reccommend you give this game a shot if you have the time to do so.