TUNIC

Love everything about it, but it was a little too hard. Wish there was a way to adjust difficulty.

my wife's boyfriend got me this game yay

Having beaten Tunic, it is an OK adventure game with a profoundly obscure puzzle game tacked onto the end. It mistakes being cryptic for being interesting and seems to think the charm of the original Zelda came from being an illiterate child trying to decipher the pictures in the manual. In my opinion, it took the wrong lessons from Zelda. I had enough fun to see it through but just barely. When I would figure things out, I often felt irritated by the “puzzle” rather than gratified at the solution. The number of times you just have to walk behind objects in the world to find secret passages led to a tedious search on every screen, constantly walking into walls. We started calling it “walk behind the wall simulator” because of how predictably and heavily the game leans on this gimmick. And in a few of the rare places where it doesn’t, it expects you to know to do something that is never explained and only ever used in that specific place, AFAICT. One of the things that kept me playing was a sense of curiosity about the world and various symbols/locales you run across. But I beat the game without having to decipher much of those - none of the details are well-explained. And it turns out the symbols are part of a deep and arcane bonus puzzle for completionists. If you enjoy that kind of thing, then Tunic is for you. I was out of patience by the end.

Last night I was looking for some porn of the not gay variety. Obviously gay porn is gay, so instead I went looking for guy on girl porn. But I realized that features a guy, with a penis, and is therefore 50% gay. So I started looking for some girl on girl action, till I realized that is lesbian, and is therefore 100% gay. So clearly, I had to look into alternative options. I started to consider hentai: since no one in it is real, it can’t contain guys, so it’s not gay, right? Well, hentai is anime, which not only is gay, but also makes me a weeb. The worst option so far. I considered traps. I’ve long heard debate over whether traps are gay, so I decided to do the math. The gayness of traps lies in the premise. Let’s consider the 5 base premises: a guy and a trap, where the guy initially thinks he’s with a girl: effectively guy on girl, 50% gay a guy with a trap, and the guy knew it was a trap: Dude looking for some ♥♥♥♥, that’s gay a girl with a trap, where the girl doesn’t know it’s a trap: that’s lesbian, and is gay a girl with a trap, where the girl knows it’s a trap: effectively guy on girl, therefore 50% gay Therefore, on average traps are 75% gay, with a minimum gayness of 50%. Not an improvement. The 5th option, trap on trap, is a singularity of the 4 prior possibilities, and is therefore on average 75% gay again. So I got into specifics. What if it was girl on girl, and the premise was at least one of the girls was just bi-curious, and not actually fully lesbian? Well, in that case, their curiosity makes them a cat. Cats are furries, and furries are gay So how about a girl soloing? Well that’s a girl touching girl bits. Lesbian and gay. My conclusion is that the only way to live a life free of homosexual sin is to liberate oneself of sexual desire at all, and become an asexual. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

ゼルダの難易度・親切さでこのパズルだったら10/10。 でも実際はイージーでもアクションが苦しい、6.5/10。 [h3]■ アクション[/h3] 操作性は最高。難易度はイージーでも大変。強化して楽ちん！と思ったら楽を潰すシステムを入れてくる。イージーはイージーであってくれ〜。 メニューに「無敵」があるものの、それは虚しいんだよね。 [h3]■ パズル[/h3] 主に2種類： ① マップ上の隠れ小道をめっちゃ探す ② 説明書やマップの絵解き ゼルダ的な、アクションを絡めた多様なギミックを期待しないこと（たいまつに火を灯す、目玉に矢を放つ、剣を当てて〜…）。 どっちかというと、説明書や視覚情報とにらめっこして謎を解く感じなので、わりと地味。 パズルの質自体は高くてチャレンジ感がある。 [h3]■ 説明書（聖典）[/h3] コレクト要素。このゲームの説明書が、スーファミ・64みたいな温もりのある紙ペラで出てくる。凝ってて好き。でも文字が読めない。 絵だけ見てなんとか進めるが、「文字読めないままでいいのか？」と終盤まで悩んだ。 これのせいで苦労してボスを倒しても、やってる事が正解なのか不安が付きまとい、爽快感がない。ここはハッキリ不満。 結局「絵だけで進めるなら文字を読む必要なし」。 [h3]■ 便利さはお預け[/h3] 冒険をさくさくにしてくれる機能は、終盤で加速。逆に、一番欲しい序中盤で使えない。 広いマップで「もう歩き疲れたよ母さん」という感想にはなる。特にワープ。 あとアイテムも効果が読めないし、使ってもよくわからんのがいくつかある。 バランスの悪さ・しんどさに付き合う覚悟があれば、面白い謎解きに立ち会える……素直にはおすすめしにくいが、パズル狂なら手に取る価値はあるゲーム。

My thoughts on TUNIC so far, presented as questions in no particular order (mild spoiler warning): Why place so, so many things behind walls and not make any sort of indication of where the player is, instead making them run around aimlessly, hugging the wall? Why is the camera sometimes so far zoomed out that I can barely see my character? Why is the lock-on so confused as soon as a new enemy enters my line of sight? Why include a parry mechanic and then not account for it in the enemy attack design? Why is the balance between attacking and dodging so clunky? Why are there so many enemies that require you to hit them with some kind of spell because they keep running away? Why is there no form of mana regeneration that doesn't either consume incredibly expensive items or swap out your healing entirely for a laughable amount of mana? Why is there no easier way to swap items mid-fight? Why have obstacles that drain your max HP until your next save? Why attach the max HP drain to normal enemies that, at certain points of the game, take half your health bar with a simple swipe? Why is the distribution of items so sporadic, sometimes flooding you with new items and sometimes leaving you finding nothing for an hour? Why do dead bodies have collision? I write this as I face the most BS enemy gauntlet I have ever seen in gaming. Notice how I don't complain about the puzzle-solving aspects and (most) exploration aspects? That is because I like that part, and I want to like the game, but questionable decisions in combat, quality of life, and enemy design make the experience more frustrating than fun. I will complete the game as far as I find reasonable, and maybe some of my complaints will be lifted, but as it stands, I can't recommend this game. I really want to sit down with this game's team and just talk about my questions and their decisions.

̷̜̿ll.̴̝̿.̷̻̌.̵̱͊.̵̛͖̱̊ have a situation .̶͐.̴̳͌.̷͉́.̷̜̿.̴̝̿.̷̻̌.̵̱͊.̵̛͖̱̊.̴̵̢̺̽͝.̸̳̈́.̴͖̈́.̴̠̌.̷̘̆.̶͇͒.̷̟͒ Holy Cross, Batman! (╥﹏╥)

给我干哪来了，我上的不是幼儿园的车吗