MOUSE: P.I. For Hire

The English language does not possess the words that I need to express how much I HATED this experience. This game, if it can be called that, is a mind numbing, soul sucking experience from start to finish. Gameplay: Feels like having Toejam cheese What starts out as a novelty, quickly becomes a repetitive that would make COD blush. Each and every encounter is a series of rooms that are all shooting galleries. This wouldn't be an issue if the level designs weren't an absolute to chore to play in. The game tries to force you to adapt and maintain the flow combat. However, this results in absolutely frustrating experience where the AI consistently will spawn out of nothing directly behind you...over....and....over...and.....over again. It is impossible to "get good" at this game because the AI is stacked to ALWAYS have this advantage. You can reliably dispose the ads in front of, then immediately do a 180 to find the next wave has spawned right at your flank. This is not to account for the absurdly obnoxious unit types that rush you incessantly to body block range units and waste your ammo. There is a "bell" feature to let you know when combat begins and ends. Due to the game's half baked QA testing, this feature often fails. The ending bell will ding while units are still on the field waiting to attack. Inevitably, you will lose many resources throughout the game due to encounters you are not meant to master or become proficient at. Truly, it has artificial difficulty interwoven throughout the entire experience. And this is all for the run of the mill standard combat. I have not begun to talk about the garbage boss fights. Each boss is not a test of player skill, but rather a test of the player to understand the gimmick. Each boss has a brand new gimmick and concept that you have not been trained on yet, which may result in a live, die, repeat scenario. This forces a learning perseverance, rather than intuition. Some bosses aren't even bosses at all. They're just obstacle courses with the full intent to put the player to sleep IRL. No boss is fun to play against, nor engaging in any capacity. Heck, even the game itself makes mention of how annoying several segments were (I'm literally not joking. The creators knew certain segments were terrible, made in game commentary, and still kept them in the final release???) The weapon balancing leaves alot to be desired. There are 3 guns that are worth your investment, while the rest will hardly ever be used outside the initial acquisition. The pistol, tommy gun, and acid gun are the only tools in your arsenal that will prove beneficial during your playthrough. At least you acquire these guns relatively early. Narrative: Smells worse than my cheddar popcorn farts One can predict the entire story 15 minutes in. Theres a corrupt politician who is trying to rise to power. That is it. There's no more depth to this story, as the initial subplots are easily forgotten and loosely tie to the overall narrative. Theres a dead girl, whose death is irrelevant. Theres a magician, whose disappearance is irrelevant. There even is GENOCIDAL ABDUCTIONS, of all things, which becomes.....irrelevant. At the end of all the nonsensical subplots, is a single villain who just wants to win an election. It has no deeper meaning, thought, or care written into it. There are no twists, no intrigue, NO SURPRISES. It is quite literally in my top 5 for most boring and predictive stories I have ever had the displeasure of experiencing. The characters are forgettable, I couldn't name you a single one. I put 18 hours into this mess, and I can't name you a SINGLE character. I heard all their crappy dialogue FOR HOURS, and I still cant give you a name. Their motivations are completely unrelatable. And when it comes to the "intense" moments, the voice acting and writing falls completely flat. Any opportunity to really understand the characters is easily lost due to the complete lack of care with the world building and poor character development. The dialogue is obnoxiously corny with every single pun being about the word "cheese". Yes, there are some specific cheese names that are used with some humor. But for the majority of the puns, it is literally the word "cheese". It is permeated unnecessarily throughout each and every line simply because the developers could. It wears on you very quickly and even becomes outright frustrating with many cheese based opportunities that would have been much better with any real thought. This is not to mention the ENDLESS stream of references that pollute every aspect of this game. For many sections I just felt like I playing the reference material instead of Mouse PI. Fairly uninspiring and lacking creativity with their inclusion. Artistic Direction: A fine slice of gruyere Don't have much to complain about for the artistic elements. The designs capture the 1930's rubber hose aesthetic extremely well. Some very creative directions are taken with some of the gags and narrative events that I was able to appreciate. Pretty much the art direction is the only thing the devs did well. One thing I will note is that the gray scale design does get very fatiguing on the eyes and can make certain environmental elements a chore to recognize. I FONDONT RECOMMEND ANY PERSON TO WASTE THEIR TIME OR MONEY ON THIS TRASH GAME. Overall Score: Tastes worse than the cheese in between the folds of the rat's fat.