Horsey Game

I love this game. I hate this game. I am emotionally destroyed by this game. You start with a tragic story: your sweetie has horse flu and needs $62,375 for the cure. So what do you do? Naturally, you start lassoing wild horses, breeding them, racing them… and then casually inventing CRISPR nightmares that look like a centipede ♥♥♥♥♥♥ a muscle car. I spent three hours carefully breeding the perfect racing horse. I spent the next three hours creating a giraffe-headed alligator that somehow won the sumo tournament. I cried. I laughed. I screamed “WHAT THE ♥♥♥♥ IS A HORSE” at my monitor. This game is simultaneously the dumbest thing ever made and a deep, serious meditation on capitalism, genetics, and love. It is peak. It is bottom. It is both at the same time. Also my toaster of a PC can barely handle it. The second I open the CRISPR lab the whole thing starts wheezing like it’s having a stroke. 15 fps of pure genetic horror while the fans scream for mercy. 10/10 would genetically modify again while quietly sobbing about Sweetie’s horse flu and my dying hardware.