Heavy Fire: Afghanistan

[i]Heavy Fire: Afghanistan[/i] isn't a [i]good[/i] game in the traditional sense, but it is weirdly charming in its low-budget Double-A-ness. I've always felt like rail shooters on PC are kind of a moot point since being able to aim with the mouse makes them piss-easy and this game doesn't refute that theory in the slightest, but I wanted something dumb and loud where I could pour bullets into bad guys and I got two-out-of-three from my checklist. Basically if [i]Call of Duty[/i] is a summer blockbuster, this'd be like the straight-to-video Asylum mockbuster starring Steven Seagal. It's got [i]just enough[/i] budget that it's not an indie game, it has the [i]shape[/i] of its popular contemporaries in the sense that there's military dudes in "gritty" settings constantly yelling and a steady stream of explosions and setpieces, and it offers some degree of that same thrill, but you constantly see the rough edges and limitations. To start with the good, there is a decent amount of effort into choreographing each level. Since it's on-rails they can get away with being a bit more setpiece driven and they usually have some kind of animation for each area. The cover system is actually somewhat unique for a rail-shooter, I know there are a few arcade games that have cover-pedals but the fact that you sometimes have a choice between multiple cover spots adds a little strategy and having the option at all does take away from one of the big flaws of rail shooters which is that in most games like this you're basically [i]always[/i] open to getting shot. I appreciate the degree of thought and care put into the sightlines of the cover as well and I like that when you duck into cover, there's sometimes still a spot for a bad guy that you need to deal with before you're safe, or in some cases going into cover even [i]reveals[/i] a new bad guy. While the visuals are are dated even by the standards of when this came out, they're not ugly. The game is reasonably colorful, and the set dressing is even good, with a fair bit of attention paid to making each stop along the way visually dense with props. The bloodless, sub-PG-13 violence and stiff character animations kind of add to that B-movie feel, the enemies standing around gormlessly firing their weapons at you actually kind of feel like actors in a cheesy movie more-so than actual terrorists and I found that strangely cute. I kinda [i]liked[/i] seeing every bad PS3-era post-processing effect slathered all over the screen (even if there's a spot or two where the bloom is so intense it blocks out actual enemies). What's not as forgivable is the audio design which I think is the actual worst aspect of the game and holds it back from being quite as entertaining as it could be. Remember when I said I wanted something "dumb and loud"? Well, it's [i]dumb[/i] but it completely misses the mark on "loud". The gun sounds are [i]ridiculously[/i] undercooked. Enemy guns don't seem to make any kind of sound [i]at all[/i] which makes the shootouts feel a lot less intense than they could. Your own guns [i]do[/i] make sounds but they have got to be the absolute worst gun sounds I've heard in a game. The assault rifle you start with is weirdly quiet, and the pistol sounds less like a pistol and more like someone thumping a rubber band on a piece of cardboard. Seriously? You couldn't find anything a bit punchier on like... freesound.org or something? It's wild how [i]consistently[/i] bad the gun sounds are too, they [i]all[/i] suck. The X8 sounds kind of alright I guess but it's still comically quiet, and the abundance of stock gun sounds floating around in the world just have me wondering [i]"how?"[/i]. Normally I don't even pay this much attention to a game's audio, but part of what drew me to this [i]was[/i] that I wanted a bunch of noise and chaos, and I think if they had at least gotten the sound right the aesthetic experience would be a fair bit more thrilling. Despite all the issues, it's a decent "So bad it's good" kind of game and every inept thing really just made it funnier. I feel like this would be a lot more boring if it was actually good. I loved stupid moments like accidentally killing hostages only for the game to play a cutscene right after where your team walks in and says "Okay, let's get these hostages out of here". Either those hostages are more resilient than the game told me or my crew is in for a nasty surprise (this happened [i]multiple[/i] times in one level. Sorry!). I loved how every time they wanted to do a slow-mo shot for drama, they just [i]dip the framerate[/i] instead of properly slowing things down. The basic action of moving through areas and shooting enemies [i]is[/i] fun and I would've quit if I was bored. There [i]is[/i] a reason I kept hitting the "next level" button. Unlocking little upgrades every two levels was a compelling enough reward and I surprisingly found myself getting more and more into the game the further I went. The scenarios themselves do get more exciting as you go and when you beat the game once you unlock the slightly harder "Veteran Mode". Veteran Mode is still easy in the grand scheme of things, but I was at least starting to die at the rate you would in a normal game, I think Veteran Mode should have really been the default difficulty and then you unlock something even harder after that, because Veteran Mode was where I really started to appreciate the game a bit more than I had the first time around. You can't just stand and pick guys off anymore, you have to prioritize and strategize, pick the most dangerous target and look for environmental things that make life easier. The game went from a corny little thing I played on the lark to something I was actually becoming interested in. That extra little bit of challenge made the game a lot more active and engaging. I had a feeling this must've been meant for PSMove or maybe even the Wii and sure enough some cursory Googling tells me the [i]Heavy Fire[/i] series [i]started[/i] as WiiWare and suddenly all the jank makes a lot more sense. I think this would be a lot more novel if I was playing on a platform with motion controllers. Despite the glaring issues, none of the game's jank took away from the fun and if anything made it more likable. It's not devoid of passion or talent and there are glimpses of smart design here and there that you appreciate more the deeper you get into it. The developers of this eventually did the excellent (but still charmingly jank) [i]Robocop: Rogue City[/i] and if this helped them get there I certainly can't knock it. I think Teyon's issue has always been more budgetary and time than talent and everyone has to start somewhere, but even something has humble and misshapen as this really isn't bad. Will I play it again now that I've beaten it twice? Probably not, but I imagine people who are into score attacking will like this game and I might go back for the last few achievements.