Hello, I'm Noah. I'm 28 years old and still haven't got a single date in my life, I'm looking for a life coach who can help me figure out the hard choices in my day to day life, you know? I'm sad and single, I have some friends online, but that's it.
Modeled estimate, not a reported figure. How we estimate →
About
Hello, I'm Noah, get ready to play my AMAZING interactive movie, but first, here's a couple thing about me, cuz it's very useful for the context of my game.
The Story
I'm 28 years old and still haven't got a single date in my life, I'm looking for a life coach who can help me figure out the hard choices in my day to day life, you know? I'm sad and single, I have some friends online, but that's it.
My main hobby is playing video games and sharing pictures with my friends from the interweb. They all like my pictures and say I'm special and funny.
I recently created a dating profile because my friend told me I could get some action if I did, I might not be an action star like the people in the movies, but I still like action in my life because action is fun.
I used one of my best pictures for my profile! It's super hot and shows off my beautiful mustache, which my mom says is a lady magnet.
I thankfully got a date with a girl named Michelle. She's a bit too young for my liking, I prefer people that are over 70 years old. Just a preference, but I'm willing to give her a try.
Can you please help me not ruin this date with her? Please? I will sometimes ask for your help on how to react or what to do. Thank you!
Lots of kisses
-Noah
The Gameplay
Now get ready to know the amazing gameplay of my game, like I said above this is an interactive movie, so the way you interact with the game is quite simple, you will watch a cutscene of me during my date with Michelle, and once in a while you will get an inside look of my thoughts, you will then need to choose what you want me to say or do! Those choices will lead to different outcomes, not to undermine my very high thinking skills, but I definitely need your help to get the right choices! I woudn't want to look stupid or something!
The Features
-Multiple Choices
-Grade C Acting
-Emotional Cutscenes
-Playing as Noah (Now that's the best feature of all)
-Ton of bonus features, including a 15 minute long video of the actor playing Noah shaving
-Mouse,Keyboard and controller support
-Achievements (To flex your gamer skills to your friends)
-My love to you*
*While my love to you is real, it can't actually be seen or played, it's like Santa, you just have to believe it's real <3
Genres
Stats
All-time low is the lowest price we've recorded for this game since we started tracking it.
Sums Steam only; PlayStation, Epic publish no volume signal, so the true total is higher by an unknown amount.
| Store | Price | Audience | Score | Chart | Est. revenue |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
SteamYou are here | $4.99 | 77reviews | 92% | — | $8.7K |
| $4.99 | 443ratings | 83% | — | not modelled | |
Engagement
Reviews
Themes across 46 recent reviews and how positive each mention is. A keyword signal, not full sentiment analysis.
Reviews
Noah Smalljohnson is never going to give Betty up. Noah Smalljohnson is never going to let Betty Down. Noah Smalljohnson is never going to run around and desert Betty.
quite funny, although quite short taking less than 30 minutes to complete
First game I've played that has the same vibes as captain faggotron saves the universe
Media
Related
Related
Price dynamics, follower growth, revenue and sales trajectories with interactive tooltips
This and every other Pro feature is free until October 20, 2026. A free account is all it takes.
Languages: English**languages with full audio support
| $4.99 |
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| $0 |
Matched by title — a reused name can pair the wrong games. * is a critic aggregate. Prices and positions are each store's United States storefront; Epic charts worldwide. Audience and Score too, except Steam's, which is worldwide.
Hours played at review time, across 46 reviews with recorded playtime.
positive critical· bar length = how often the theme comes up
you are so beautiful to me
Cheap and cheerful. And a lot better than the epidemic of hentai detritus (and previous achievement spam shovelware) on this platform. Can't wait to see more, especially the games lost to being banned off of Greenlight (if possible).
This game truly has been a life-changing experience. Thank you for this masterpiece.
I'd crack her dead grandmother too.
I bought this thinking it was going to be so bad it’s actually funny while also being entertaining, but it’s actually just shovelware.
I fell in love with Noah and Dead Grandmother. I was depressed for a long time, but their love gave me hope. #Kimulators Films heartful and loveable people; you deserve all the awards. You refused to add a sex scene with Blonde Blazer to the game. I love you #Kimulator FIlms. 10/10
hard watch, was touching myself throughout, didn't manage to ♥♥♥; like the thought of edging to a dead grandmother thank you
Players by region
Where this game's players are, estimated from review languages.
Related
| Game | Estimated lifetime revenue | Reviews | Review score | Price |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| $2.7K | 10 | 90% | $9.99 | |
| $837 | 18 | 100% | $2.99 | |
| $21.8K | 110 | 94% | $9.99 | |
| $19.5K | 343 | 73% | $1.99 | |
| $27.3K | 343 | 92% | $1.99 | |
| $825 | 4 | 100% | $9.99 |
Related
| Game | Estimated lifetime revenue | Reviews | Review score | Price |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| $8.7K | 65 | 91% | $5.99 | |
| $8.7K | 65 | 54% | $5.99 | |
| $8.7K | 82 | 71% | $4.99 | |
| $8.7K | 82 | 91% | $4.99 | |
| $8.7K | 54 | 98% | $4.99 | |
| $8.7K | 90 | 43% | $5.99 |